Notes on Honor and Loyalty

Antony claims that Brutus was an honorable man. Which is true, however, Antony fails to stipulate the difference between honor and loyalty. Where one fails, the other often does not, and therefore the defective value is allowed to be forgotten. But the difference, though subtle, is significant. I once knew a girl who thought that honor was the most important thing she had. Honor and loyalty. She never realized that sometimes the two must be separated until it nearly cost her the life of someone she loved very much. And then she discovered that honor, what is "right" or the "good" thing to do, may not be the best thing to do, and often it is the worst thing to do. Loyalty has no grey lines. Unlike honor, loyalty bears no question and no reservations toward gender or race or age. Loyalty is unconditional, and uncomplicated. Honor comes from loyalty, but loyalty is not born from honor.
Honor causes a person to tell a lie to someone they love in order to protect them. Loyalty causes a person to tell the truth, to face the heartbreak of the person they love, and be there to pick up the pieces after everything's fallen apart.
I suppose that's all I wanted really. Someone to be there for me and hold me when I couldn't handle the pain of living with a thousand truths that weren't my own, someone to tell me I am a good person who believed it and wanted to make me believe it. Someone who wasn't just going through the motions in order to keep me happy. Someone to help me superglue the bits of my heart back together after they'd been torn apart again.
A relationship is only ever one-sided. Perception is only ever one sided unless you can impose you're way of thinking into the minds of other people, which is in fact, posible, but only the lowest people try to convince people who are happy in a relationship to be unhappy in it. In any case, for the same reason that blue to me is a different color than blue to you or anyone else (because of the way you physically perceive the color), a relationship is only ever what it is to one person. Even if two people agree on what they feel for one another, they're agreeing on two different things.
This really wasn't the point of my attempt to write this down. I might try again later tonight. I apologize if reading this makes you feel like pulling my fingernails off with a pair of rusty tweezers.