Hey there folks! Sorry I haven't posted in eons! I had a super boring summer and figured you'd probably appreciate it if I spared you the details of my every-day routines. (What I ate for breakfast and such.) I think the highlight of my summer was that for my birthday, I got the 2012 AP Stylebook. I was/am super happy about that. In late August, I had reconstructive jaw surgery. Oh boy, was that a trip. I had my jaws wired shut for 6 weeks. YIKES! Liquid diet. I think if I ever have to have soup again I might go nutters.
On a happier note, I am now thoroughly engrossed in my senior year of high school. What? When did that happen? It's scary to think about actually. It's already November of my senior year, so... seven months until graduation... YIKES! It's fun to see where everyone wants to go to school and finding out what they want to do with their lives. I'm learning new things about people I've known for ages.
That sounds super dramatic - "what they want to do with their lives" - almost like preparing for the end of an entire era. Which is, in all honesty, what we're doing, I suppose. Because once we start college, we've branched into a whole new world (que cheesy Disney song here) of social hierarchies and opportunities unlike anything we've been exposed to so far.
People keep telling me all the social drama stuff goes away in college. I hope so. Maybe people have matured by that age. But that's what I was told about high school too, and middle school before that. Maybe it just never goes away, and it's an innate element of human nature. If Herbert Spencer had it right, an the world does operate on a survival-of-the-fittest basis, then the "Queen Bee" mentality will exist forever. But I guess that's just the way life is sometimes.
I'd like to think that I'm past that part of my life now. The part where my temper gets in the way of what's really important to me. The part where I can't trust anyone because some little homunculus buried in my subconscious goes nutters. I like to think I've changed -- matured. That I'm not so scared of losing people that I can't form a functional bond with anyone. I hope I'm not as quick to anger, or quick to find fault with the people who are closest to me. I hope others can notice this as well, and that I'm not totally delusional, convincing myself that I've matured when I haven't.
Maybe, if I have matured, I can use that maturity to avoid the perils of social antics and the dramatic spotlight of involvement in the issues of others. My hope for this last year of high school is that I can work toward reparation of past losses, even if those losses can not be entirely replaced. My ultimate goal is to exit high school with insight and understanding far beyond that with which I entered three years ago, and if I'm lucky, maybe I'll make some lifelong friends as well.
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